elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
