If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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