I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
