She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
