its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
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