Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
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