i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize