hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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