have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
