Sponge bath it is.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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