I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
