My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize