i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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