Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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