I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
