I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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