first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize