It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
