could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
