I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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