and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
