We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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