It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
