like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Boobs are out for the taking
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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