and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
