Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.