I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
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I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
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the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.