i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.