Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(309): View more from Illinois

I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.

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(616): View more from Michigan

GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them

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(251): View more from Alabama

How was last night?

(334): View more from Alabama

She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.

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(901): View more from Tennessee

I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line

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(217): View more from Illinois

You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.

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(512): View more from Texas

Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.

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(850): View more from Florida

He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed

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