No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
