Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
