he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
