Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
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