so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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