I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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