Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
