Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
