If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
