yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
i black out too much to be "responsible"
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
