I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
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