im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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