is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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