how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
