$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
