this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
