I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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