At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
