i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
