just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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