at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
