Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
