woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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