the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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