well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
