1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
They took my balls.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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