I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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