Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
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My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
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shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house