can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.