I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?