I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...