After last night, I could never be a politician.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize