my soul wont recognize me after tonight
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
