put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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