so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
